Saturday, December 5, 2009

Super Secret Plan Number One

Or: How To Drive Your Parents Crazy.

Step One: wait until they are settling down for a good nights sleep then start up a wrestling match that would make WWE Smackdown proud. of course, you must do it right in the middle of the bed.

Step Two: once the wrestling match is finished and your parents have started falling asleep again, climb on Dad's chest and mew. make it loud and pitiful. keep mewing until he goes to pat you. then attack his hand with all your might!

Step Three: sit at the cat flap and make it bang open and closed. open and closed. open and closed. repeat until your parents turn on the light to see what's happening. look innocent.

Step Four: scratch at your collar to make your bell rings so hard that you sound like a herd of demented reindeer.

Step Five: repeat steps one through four.

Step Six: wait until morning, and while your parents are still asleep, climb up the bed until your are in position. once in position, attack whatever body part you can, paying special attention to feet, bottoms, thighs, faces and other sensitive, ticklish and tender areas.

Step Seven: gloat.

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